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Post Info TOPIC: Getting paid to poop and jerk off
Anonymous

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Getting paid to poop and jerk off
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I love pooping. I like getting off. I enjoy money. Does anyone else make sure to spend one hour of their shift in the bathroom every day? Haha, take that you robot comanager! You ain't got nothing on me even if you are a Kroger built cyborg sent to catch us being bad!



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Anonymous

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What



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Anonymous

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You're  not right In the head.no

 



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Guru

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Let's see how you like it when you're out trying to get stuff done on the sales floor/back room and the other person/people with you in your department are nowhere to be found for an hour...

Management has ways of tracking down people that are stealing time for the company. Don't be surprised if one day you come out of the restroom and find a co-manager standing there, having timed how long you have been in there.



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Guru

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Getting off on pooping... Wow, you need a life bro. At my store we have implemented a policy for poop lovers such as yourself, everyone into dept has appointed tasks assigned them throughout the day. And whatever job isn't done, their names are looked up an the person responsible is interrogated like crazy

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How about NO?!?

 



Guru

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Normally, my total time doing restroom stuff only totals 15-30 mins.

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Would you like fries with th... I mean, your milk in a bag?



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I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. So my poops last 7 seconds.

7 seconds of earth shattering candle apple splatter. Then it's 1 minute of recovery, followed by 1 minute of sobbing. It's the closest thing to a break I get.

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Anonymous

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Poolsclosed wrote:

I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. So my poops last 7 seconds.

7 seconds of earth shattering candle apple splatter. Then it's 1 minute of recovery, followed by 1 minute of sobbing. It's the closest thing to a break I get.


 I feel your pain sir.. I also have IBS. I take care not to eat certain things at work to trigger it, though it's not possible all the time. Time not spent on the floor is time not using getting something important done. Gotta hate it when the body decides to betray you for a few minutes.

 

And yeah we got those employees that "disappear" for hours at a time too in our store.



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Guru

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Sounds like the topic creator has been watching too many episodes of Beavis and Butt-head.

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Veteran Member

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Anonymous wrote:
Poolsclosed wrote:

I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. So my poops last 7 seconds.

7 seconds of earth shattering candle apple splatter. Then it's 1 minute of recovery, followed by 1 minute of sobbing. It's the closest thing to a break I get.


 I feel your pain sir.. I also have IBS. I take care not to eat certain things at work to trigger it, though it's not possible all the time. Time not spent on the floor is time not using getting something important done. Gotta hate it when the body decides to betray you for a few minutes.

 

And yeah we got those employees that "disappear" for hours at a time too in our store.


 Yeah I avoid trigger food at all costs while working. This seems to prevent any "severe" attacks. I have notified my management of what happens in the event of a severe attack. I have about 15 seconds before my sphincter fails and at that point if I am not on a toilet or forcefully crossing my legs to prevent the oncoming disaster. I will be ****ting all over the seafood room.



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Anonymous

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GenesisOne wrote:

Let's see how you like it when you're out trying to get stuff done on the sales floor/back room and the other person/people with you in your department are nowhere to be found for an hour...

Management has ways of tracking down people that are stealing time for the company. Don't be surprised if one day you come out of the restroom and find a co-manager standing there, having timed how long you have been in there.


 You hate me because you ain't me, brutha. 7 years with the Big K in May and pooping like a fiend. The trick is not to disappear for one hour at once, rookie. Stop being so green and look for ways to game the system, ya got it?



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Guru

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But making multiple trips can and will pique management's curiousity. Doesn't have to be all at one time

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How about NO?!?

 

Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:
GenesisOne wrote:

Let's see how you like it when you're out trying to get stuff done on the sales floor/back room and the other person/people with you in your department are nowhere to be found for an hour...

Management has ways of tracking down people that are stealing time for the company. Don't be surprised if one day you come out of the restroom and find a co-manager standing there, having timed how long you have been in there.


 You hate me because you ain't me, brutha. 7 years with the Big K in May and pooping like a fiend. The trick is not to disappear for one hour at once, rookie. Stop being so green and look for ways to game the system, ya got it?


 I now do this and get at least a extra 30 min break some days



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Anonymous

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is this why my slacker make baggers always disappear to the restroom for long periods?



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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:

is this why my slacker make baggers always disappear to the restroom for long periods?


 We have a over night worker the minute he clocks in he goes to the bathroom for 15 mins! There are pallets to break down too! Then half way through breaking the pallets down he will make another trip to the bathroom 15 mins again. Its getting old.. he wears the same light brownish light grey sweats every night for work and he wears these worn out crocs gross. Hes overweight so I do t think he has the energy to jerk it. when he bends over too ugh his crack is out like the hit sun in Arizona. Hes struggling with this kinda work hopefully he quits soon



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